WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH £11MILLON TO BENEFIT PORTLAND AND WEYMOUTH?
Portland has been in the news today in relation to how government cuts are affecting local communities. Plans are to cut both of Portland’s libraries, the lollipop ladies for safe crossing and a day care centre for the elderly. These cuts sit alongside all the negative environmental and social impacts of building a biofuel power station at Portland Port, which will also have a significant impact on our purse-strings, since it will be subsidised to the tune of £11million pounds per year in the form of payments through Renewable Obligations Certificates (ROCs).
We think this is shocking at a time when funding is being pulled from such vital services for local people. It is also incomprehensible that a government that wants to establish its green credentials would let this happen. Until the decision on the subsidies is made in July, we think it’s important to let the powers that be know what we could do with £11million a year to benefit Portland and Weymouth, rather than fill the coffers of a private company.
So we’re running a competition and invite you to answer the following question:
“What would you do with £11million per year to benefit Portland and Weymouth?”
Entries can be posted in the comments section below, or if you’d prefer you can email your answer to nooilpalmenergy@gmail.com
There is a prize of a 3 course meal for two people (excluding drinks) at The Blue Fish Café in Chiswell, for whichever suggestion (funny or serious) we like the best*.
Good luck!
*You can enter as many times as you like. The closing date is 12th June 2011. Answers will be judged by the NOPE Steering Committee and their decision is final. There is no alternative to the prize on offer. The winner will be notified via email and must redeem their prize within 2 months.
I would link with the Centre for Alternative Technology (CAT ) in Wales and develop an alternative energy program that we could teach in schools and sponsor school children to visit CAT and a have adventure breaks in the surrounding country side. I would have a tree planting program to green up and make Portland lush.
I would look at opening a much bigger and exciting information centre on Chesil beach to really showcase the wonderful marine and bird life and natural. I would use the ‘clout’ to talk to sea life to improve their site, maybe investing in it….and have a bloody massive street party!!!!!!!
Great suggestion John, gets us off to a flying start. Thanks!
Very simple solution: The £11m could be spent on 1.1 billion penny chews from a local sweet shop. The money won’t be wasted, and we’ll be supporting a local business into the bargain (not to mention the Guangzhou No.1 Penny Chew and Lead Figurine Concern in southern China, the acknowledged leaders in the field).
Now, taking into account that each chew measures roughly one inch by half-an-inch, the sweets can be used as a road surface that will completely pave the road from Easton Square, down through Fortuneswell, across the Causeway, through Weymouth and all the way to the County Council offices in the centre of Dorchester, a distance of some 14.5 miles.
If you get stuck in a traffic jam and you’re feeling a bit peckish, you can simply lean out of your vehicle, grab a handful of penny chews and you’re completely sorted, safe in the knowledge that there’s another £11m coming next year from central government to repair any ‘holes’ in the road.
I know what you’re thinking: Blue-Tac doesn’t come cheap, and what else is going to hold all these sweets down? I’ve thought of that as well – simply do the work on a particularly hot day, and the sun will do the rest. Mmm… I can taste that sweet, sweet road surface already.
Come to think of it, my idea of spending £11m on 1,100,000,000 penny chews for a novelty road surface is a bit of a non-starter, as it will only encourage people into their cars and eat our roadways, the exact opposite of what the NOPE campaign is suggesting in the name of sensible renewable energy.
However, with the 1.1bn chews already ordered (I’ve taken the liberty of making a few phone calls on your behalf – hope you don’t mind), I’ve decided on a different tack which will, instead, bring together the peoples of Weymouth and Portland, and come 2012, the Olympic family.
I speak, of course, of a 400-foot tall model of antipodean wonder Kylie Minogue, constructed entirely from penny chews, perched on top of the Verne Citadel, reminding each and every one of us of her most famous role: “Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours”. Who, I ask, would not be moved by the sight of Monster Kylie, standing athwart Fortuneswell, her message of good neighbourliness played 24 hours-per-day on the bonkers sound system built into her chewy cranium?
And next year, when another £11m lands in our laps, we can build a 400-foot tall model of her wonky-eyed sister Dannii at the other end of Weymouth Bay, playing a selection of her chart hits, whatever they are.
I’m certain you will agree that this idea will certain put Weymouth and Portland on the map, and this time for all the right reasons.
I am not mad.
I always thought an outdoor swimming/paddling pool would be great on portland. Also a regular ferry service to the mainland ( free for locals ).
i would buy back the land opposite the park in underhill, and knock down all the horrible houses, return it to its former glory, and give it back to the kids on portland and put a play area on there, let the kids have their sports days there like we used to, and set up a decent youth club from 0 to 18 with training etc for the kids of portland to have the opportunities they deserve and need……
So, who won, then?
Alistair, please email us: nooilpalmenergy@googlemail.com
Thanks!